Waffly J. Waffle

Waffly Jay Waffle (Born July 6th, 1976) is a talking Mancunian waffle, well known for his run in Sainsbury's for almost 7 years before moving to Iceland in 2001. Although he has gained criticism in recent years for lazily lying in a pan all day, he has recently begun a publicity operation, where he tries to gain more human friends using the popular networking site Facebook.

Early Life
Waffly was born in 1976, the only child of Frank and Beryl Waffle, of Farmfoods. He grew up in Mosside, where he traveled between freezers for most of his teens. After years of traveling around, he finally landed a secure home in Sainsbury's in 1993, at age 17.

Career
Waffly currently works for McDonald's, where his father was employed as far back as 1955. He was suspended in 2004 for biting the manager's nose off, but was rehired due to an excellent workrate. He has recently turned down job requests from Findus and Emporio Armani.

Personal
Waffly was married to Kerry Katona, but divorced her amid allegations of Domestic Violence on Katona's part, (including an incident where she tried to consume him) and Adultery, (when she cheated on him with a King Prawn Ring). Waffly remarked of the incident; "Well she can kiss my goddamn ring goodbye, that's for sure!" He is now single, and has made friends with Katona since the divorce.

Search for friends
His lonelyness got too much for him in 2009, and he decided to create a Facebook profile, to gain human friends. To add him, see below.